Showing posts from 2018

Double Chocolate Muffins

Greetings one blog viewer.
I'm back again with baking, hyperbole and self-deprecation which is honestly a better combination than
that of ciabatta, tomatoes and garlic in the matrimony we call bruschetta (that's a lie. There is nothing
better than bruschetta. I hate myself for lying to you).
This week's hyperbolic storytime, however, is making quite a reach to link it to this week's recipe so I
ask you, in the words of Coleridge himself, to suspend your disbelief for a few moments whilst I rant.
In this cruel world we call home, I have come to the very concrete evaluation that human beings are
simply phasing out words from their vernacular. Now, you can look this up. I'm not lying. Words do go
extinct. Or we’d be thou-ing and sonnet-ing everywhere all the time.
But I'm not talking of archaic language. I'm talking of simple words, like please and thank you.
Simple, polite social etiquette.
I work in retail so it's really not surprising that the brain-lacking …

Lemon Curd and Poppyseed Muffins

Hello babes.

Yes. I'm here again. This time? With muffins! Who doesn't love muffins?

Well...I mean...I guess such a person exists. But they must be sad.

Look, either way, this is a muffin recipe. Want the recipe? Scroll to the bottom to avoid the ridiculous commentary.

Ah, whose left?


Cool. I can get weird then.

Muffins - like cookies - are a touchy subject for me, you know? Like society tells us boys and girls we must look a certain way - no, we must you say? Snatched - I feel like my view of muffins is that they must ALWAYS have that big, muffin top. Kind of like my belly, but smaller. But in my experience, whilst my muffins have a decent peak they never splay over the sides of their muffin case the way my muffin top splays over the waistband of my jeans (did you see it? What I did there I mean? Pretty cool, right?).

God. You people must thing I'm Mah-husive. Which if fine. Think what you want. I'd make a good whale. I never stop eating. Plus I'm salty…

Under 300 calorie protein-packed breakfast wrap!

Yes. It is me.

Back at it again with the inconsistent content.

This week, breakfast. That's what I'm sharing with you, I mean. 

I did have a different recipe I wanted to share but I really had no effort. I'm not going to lie to you. You don't lie to friends. Cause that's what we are, eh one blog viewer?

Look, I'm moving away from the point. Once again, if you saw the picture, thought 'Wham bam, thank you ma'am' and came here for the recipe without my dribble, parachute to the bottom, yo.

If you're in the mood for a commentary, stay here. Hey. This is going to be a fun journey. Just you, me and some high quality images taken with a bomb camera.

Thanks Canon.

Let me get into the gritty nitty, nitty gritty and all that jazz of what this even IS. It is a wholemeal tortilla, toasted on an open flame (Ooo, danger), filled with a schmear of low-fat Philadelphia, some spinach and a soft boiled egg. And some seasoning because we all need favour in our life.

Am I…